FML

Last day

2010

soon, gonna put an END to year 2009

a year where too many things happen and these shits made some impact in my life

haha, looking back this year

the word to describe juz a WOW

though lots unfortunate things happen, but there are also things making me happy

the most important changes is i change my course frm engineering to marketing

surprising right? haha, erm, this actually is the 1st failure i face in my life

having some regrets

having feelings of guilt for my parents

the $$ spent which cant be recover

fundamental of maths not strong for me to survive in engineering

but anyway, it can be a good experience at least i try it

but this trying make me loss lots $$

an expensive trial i think

however, marketing course aint bad at all

i like it very much compare to engineering

the lecturers, tutors and most importantly friends

frm every aspect it is better.. juz the housemates..

haha

my WONDERFUL KL HOUSE MATES

they are people who can mix with me without any conflict

haha, lots of fun and unforgettable memory i had in Setapak

yesterday just visited them, miss the lame jokes and the stalls there

every place there give me memories..

my new course mates are

fine, friendly except

fews are annoying or i say the mentality still like kids (no offense)

give them time to grow and mature

environment and experience will make them grow

hope to be the better one not the worse =)

moving to kampar, i cant manage to continue my coaching part-time

haha, miss those days, some is about the $ and some is about the passion and interest

basketball fading away in my life after moved kampar

life of a coach stop here, sometime think of it really kind of sad

the feeling worst when heard the training people getting lesser after i left

due to various reasons, of course not me =) but still gt xtra reasons

calls frm teacher inform me that players getting lesser and etc...

my foundation for the form1 kids juz gone like that

there are anger and frustration

but ntg can be done

i aint a experienced or a high level coach

but still eager to learn more tactical strategy to teach my players

haha, hope can accomplish this unfinished task once i done with my course

so good to see players grow year by year and getting better

their achievement could measure your efforts and the feeling get better when they remember you and msn wif you.

haha, it juz happen last two weeks,

one of my player now playing for Taylor's college

ask me to train him and challenge me for 3 points =)

but i told him i too old and lack of practice XD

so cant really compete wif him haha..

good excuse =)

Besides, moved kampar i knw how important is saving $

previously i spent wat i earn on food and shoes

therefore, now whatever i need, need ask $ frm parents

slowly learning the lessons haha

this year, can say i club the most and having exposure to alcohol to max

after all, clubbing for me actually just enjoy and gather wif frens

the atmosphere.... while drinking wif close frens is the emo time

time to express yourself and revealed the things which make you sad over and etc

that is what i doing now la..

my course getting interesting, knowing more lecturers

these lecturers are friendly than those idiot Dr in the engineering faculty

i started to bullshitz wif them whenever i c them

they are experienced workers last time, so i hope can get something frm them

some guidance and etc =)

ＴＯＴＡＬ ＪＡＭＭＥＤ

ｏｈｈ．．．　ｓｈｉｔｚｚｚｚｚｚ
ｍｙ　ｂｒａｉｎ　ｊａｍｍｅｄ　ｗｉｆ　ａｌｌ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｅｒｍｓ　ｎｗ．．
ｊｕｚ　ｔｈｅ　１ｓｔ　ｓｕｂｊｅｃｔ　ｉ＇ｍ　ａｌｒｅａｄｙ　ｈａｌｆ　ｄｅａｄ．
ｄｏｎｔ　ｋｎｗ　ｉｓ　ｔａｔ　ｉｍｐａｃｔ　ｆｒｍ　ａｃｃｉｄｅｎｔ　ｏ　ｓｅｒｉｏｕｓｌｙ　ｊａｍｍｅｄ　ｔｈｅｒｅｆｏｒｅ　ｃａｎ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｉｎ．．　ｃａｎ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｒａｉｎ　ｎｏ　ｌｏｎｇｅｒ　ａｂｓｏｒｂ　ｗｈａｔ　ｉ　ａｍ　ｒｅａｄｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｉ　ｃ　ｔｈｅ　ｎｏｔｅｓ．．　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｉｎｆｕｌ　ｉｔ　ｇｅｔｓ．．
ｗｔｆ　ｉｓ　ｔｉｓ　ｍａｎ．．
ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｉ　ｃａｌｌ　ｉｔ　ａ　ｄａｙ？　ｏｒ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄ　ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ？
ｔｏｔａｌｌｙ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏ　ｉｄｅａ．．．

two days later..

so hard to have a comfortable position to sleep..
turn right o left oso pain.
oli could face the ceiling and sleeping and reduce the movement..
morning wake up having trouble to stand up.
looks like a OKU only..
hand still recovering frm pain..
haihz.. final juz around.. still cant manage finish writing those important points.
physically and mentally tired...
somebody help me..

narrow escape

friend gt injured unable to sit for the coming final..
my body aching and the flash back of the things making me unable to focus!
gonna screw up my final again..
fuck man why is tis happeninig
a fine and happy day ended wif disaster

Hate myself

i was a pbsm member throughout my secondary school..
attempt to help people always fail especially those which are urgent
when i was form5, i done a mistakes
stpd enuf to find teachers and inform them rather checking the person condition
i had failed everything..
when think back i knw i really dun deserved to be a 1st aid member.
being so stupid at the urgent moment..
sigh...
yesterday, my friends and i went for a day trip to cameron
on the way bck we met accident and the car upside down.
his hand upper part fracture while the lower part hav a ddep cut till c the bone..
that moment, i tried call the ambulance bt they are being nt effective
and tat time i duno knw wat matters applied to his condition.
i was given a cloth to stop the bleeding.. they ask me tie it hard..
but i juz couldnt make it.. i juz wrapped around the wounds and tie a loose knot.
i afraid of doing the wrg things..
and when he still trapped in car, i dont knw how to pull him out,
one of my fren pull him out while i was calling ambulance
so.. i really a failure.
lucky 2 car went for a trip n my fren manage to send him to hospital in time..
while waiting him to b operate.
i m so down bec unable to figure out what is wrg n right..
n my past flash back again being an useless member and even a vice-president of pbsm
cant handle this matters.. i scare i tie loose knot will cause him loose too much blood
or if tat time i tied a tight knot.. his hand gonna b gone..
in high school always heard the instructor said people always tend to help bt ended up make the situation worst.. so i was worried am i the ONE of them..
the 4 hours in the hospital.. i suffered frm pain n the brain keep thinking those stuffs.
isnt tha pain mk me suffered bt the facts that i m a failure and unable to help me keep me struggle..
12 am we left the hospital without news..
and 3 am at last have his news.. he is ok..
hand will recover in 1 month bt ned half a year bck to normal
at last i could settle down..
nw my body pain like shitz...n final juz nxt week.
i running out of time n yet my mind still cant get this accident through..
the few secs b4 the car overturned..
i juz thinking how to tell my parents n deep in my heart hoping i dont hav serious injurt else my parents will b damn worried.. n rush down frm subang juz to c me..
juz dun hope to again becum the blacksheep of the family

Awaken

Well Done

haha, kind of happy wif my new achievement
juz bck kampar 2 days
i spent 20 bucks in CC d..
mean 2 days have 5 hours each in CC
hahha...
revision = 0
dota = improvement
total = DIE
try stdy 2 hours a day frm today
hopefully can do well
wish me luck.

Stress..

DAMMMITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTt
HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW
haihz...
3 subjects to revised..
1 subject need to worry...
notes are still in file..
newly bought highlighter haven use
things are untouched though d stdy week..
dying soon...
wat i do juz non stop complaining n dun even feel like stdying
crapz..
piece of shitz..
gonna spam all shitz here.
grrrr
ZZZzzzzzzz
anyone knw how to help me?

A step closer to my dream

to have a motorcycle is always my dream
too bad, parents stopping me frm taking the license
i always have the Ninja Kawasaki in my mind
bt it always seem impossible as the price is too high
however, juz gt to knw can get around 10k for 150cc below.
tis had tempted me to hav it so badly..
haihz.. duno how to get parents permission
i know the risk and how dangerous for riding a motorcycle.
bt if u ride during the younger age shuld b better than when u get old
evrything in this world do have risk...
prevetion is better than cure.
bt having tis dream since childhood,
n unable to fulfill it
juz like... so meaningless
hopefully, nxt year when talk to parents and slowly they will allow me la.
haihz.. juz pray hard they let
then i will b dam excited n happy..
=)

boring

get bck to kampar d..
sigh.. nw struggling to get the mood to start revision..
brain non-stop thinking of playing DOTA.
haha.. suck man.. once bck kampar d go CC..
i m totally screw up..
nw hav ntg to do..
couldnt fall asleep
couldnt open the bookz..
wat can i do..
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
sienz a..

meaningful weekend

even the final exam juz around the corner
i still manage to come bck and attend the primary school gathering
though there are just 16- 18 people, bt it is gud enuf.
nvr thought of this actually could b happen,
because initially i juz chui sui abt the date n time
who knws wif the help of few frens, IT HAPPEN.
haha, the feeling to drive to my primary school have mixed feelings
and i parked my car in the primary school... so much flash back in the brain
then move to the pasar nearby to meet wif the primary frens.
1st time having the breakfast in pasar n after 8 years, we manage to sit tgther..
2nd program of the day is sing k in neway bec we couldnt find a better things to do
after that they went to my dad shop and start talk n talkz..
i think the best part of the day is the talking part.
haha.. discuss abt wat happen those days..
full wif laughter =)
then after that, most of them are back, only left few go Dagei in FTZ..
a day juz passed like tat.. though is simple bt meaningful..

Limitation

sometimes things juz get out of control
the more u prevent it to happen the more likely it will happen
i m trying to bear wif it bt it always surpass my limits
so what is that?
why each ending must be like this.
cant juz b happy n enjoy the moment
each of us hav problems and things to b faced
which make us stress bt doesnt mean u can do watever u want
i m here to share bt ways of u doing it juz unacceptable
sorry if i had done another mistakes without realized
bt the pain n hw u pierce through my heart nw..
totally cant b describe
sick of it.... mind spend some time and think on my behalf
recently i get stressed up n fed up of everything d..
so.. really hope some1 is there..

Blanked

last week i manage to involved in a book fair after the 2012 movie..
out of boredom i go ahead and look around.. n i found the mandarin literature.
haha, remind me of so many things.. the beauty of Chinese literature..
duno why, i always felt that values and lessons from these chinese words
gave me larger impact than other languages
it has been a while since the last literature books i read.
miz it so much.. the lessons, stories, life n everything.
it makes u a person today and well prepare to face the future challenges..
=) making a person optimistic.. haha..
hope when holidays could get a suitable books and start reading.


i started to feel the heat.
heat of exam..
getting so stressed up lately though still nonstop da gei
sigh.. wat to do..
damn... juz the mood aint right..
lately, i become so restless... argh..
cant sty focus or even take the 1st step to start the revision
notes are evry where, nt looking at it since the midterm..
juz hope time wil stop n juz let me STONE for a moment.
hopefully this moment will last until i m ready

brain a brain stop thinking stuffss.
juz stp for nw..
let me becum the dead man for a secs
i duno who am i
i duno wat i want
i duno wat i becum
i knw i having shitz in the past..
hope to reborn
hope to ....
all these craps.
bullshitz..
hopeless
so.. fuck LIFE

=)

it has been a while since the last time i blog..
wat to do, short semester, everything muz b done asap
been busy for the past 6 weeks, and now ned prepare for final..
last week manage have a outing wif my classmates and his frens,
of course met my beloved gf and my friends..
haha, paintball.. having hell lots of fun bt pain in the ASSS
lol.. then yamcha wif jw n yc... movie wif gf..
erm..
tis semester gonna end soon, gonna miz my tutors.
grateful to have some gud tutors this semester,
that is why i rarely skip tutorial class.
most of them spend time talking to me, some even have more discussion abt his working exp and etc.. make me feel like exposed to the working life faster and of course need these tutors to be my guidance in future. XD
it seem that i cant rid of my past experience in examination whereas failing subjects.. ..
sigh.. so, here come another final... i still year 1 . haha so really hope that everything turns up well, so i will nt do the same mistakes and disappoint my parents again.
2 weeks frm nw.. final.
nw haven hav the mood yet
mood a moood plz come to me

1st present frm my sister

haha.. after so so long living on earth

at last i get a present from my sister

haha...

a toy (optimus prime)

maybe it is childish like what my brother said

but i dont denied it as well

because in facts i love toys, ultraman and power rangers

haha..

this prime is bigger than the previous prime my gf bought for me

however i love all these 3 =)

so, now since i d hav 3, my gf suggest to collect other autobots

hehe..........

yesterday is my 2nd time celebrate my birthday wif my fren

kind sad right? haha

1st time when i was 17

2nd time when i am 20

^^ both were awesome

Erm..

this semester i found something unusual

though is just only one week

i realize i cannot sleep later than 11

automatically will wake up before that

but it is just up to me either

to continue sleeping or wake up for classes

no matter how little is my sleep time

i could get up at the time i want but slighlty later

my timetable are crazy

after classes go gym then back to classes and lastly play basketball

it has been a while for me to have this kind of lifestyles

normally i would say NO and just have a nap

this whole week in Kampar i don't get a nap at all

ahaha, this only can be explained by one concept

exercise could energize your life

hope this will last for the whole semester

this gonna be a short semester

hopefully i will do well and dont screw up the exam

Black Label

again..

i have another bottle of Johnnie Walker in one weeks time

now i realize new things

even liquor can bring memories to you

this year Bacardi Lime

then Jack Daniel's

Chivas Regal

and lastly Johnnie Walker black label

drinking with friends seriously fun

all sort of funny things occurred

everyone is high and do stupid things

some will become emotional

actually liquor can be used in the good ways and bad ways

drunk yourself and runaway

or drunk yourself and enjoy it

hhaahah..

hopefully, in near future can have this drinking event occasionally

^^

SHitZ

too many things in mind

too many things to care

too many things happen

life life life

love love love

fren fren fren

Sigh sigh Sigh

Headache

it is 1st week of new semester
been happy for passing my exam
the F finally go away for the 1st time after 1 year
this semester everything gonna be a mess for me
short semester need keep rushing
and a very THANk YOU to all my lecturers
keep remind us this semester all 3 subject are the hardest
just 3 days of classes, they had been repeating non stop
sigh, kind stressed
then about buying books
i dont feel like buying any
wasting money but lecturer said
nvr buy book dun ever think of getting B+ and abv
i was like what the hell man..
still wondering should i buy or not
don't know should consider myself as lucky or unlucky
having head of department to teach us one of the subject
damn, he is expecting something good for us
the expectation is so high, demanding
dont know can i meet his requirement
really need put in lots efforts
lecturer a lecturer
get a malay lecturer
she was superb
speaking malay english make me so inpatient
feel like skipping this subject for the rest of the semester

Long lost values...

when we were child
lots stories been telling by teachers and always
there are moral values after each story
this values actually helps a lot and even give guidance in our life today
but many of us already forget the beauty of the story
if you are free, just surf the net and find some of these stories
eventually, it might give u a wake up call
to start appreciate life today from this moment onwards
today, so randomly, my dad found few slides at the living hall
belonged to my housemates
it is about the seeds that never grow
some people might think silly or childish to read this simple short story
what i learn from there are serious a lot

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.

But

If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.

So be careful what you plant now, It will determine what you will reap tomorrow..
however, it is true that sometimes what you plant, you does not reap what it should be
(told by my high school teacher, when i faced failure though all the hardwork)
because in reality lots things cannot be control
lots things are unfair
but practise these could make you a great person, make you a man
you just need keep trying

another story is something about a frog
haha..
its say that
an encouragement word from a friend can lift you up and faces challenges to be success
a destructive word from friend will lead you to the grave
living in this world alone is not enough, you need friends
friends will always beside you to encounter all your problems
don't be afraid, you ain't alone
there still long way to go..
friends will walk with you

at certain point i don't know how to define friends
and who really are those friends who can be with you
haha... don't know..

last day

yesterday i spent my last day in subang again wif my best frens
haha, thx for spending ur time to have dinner and loiter around with me
the feeling of nt going bck kampar is so strong
stoned most of the time again..
recently things just flash back again
about the past and high school life
dammit, how i wish can turn bck the time n sav certain things
nw it become a memories which i nvr wanted them to be occured
bt it juz couldnt go away and get rid of it
people will say" let it go, and live on"
seriously i duno how to do it.
my frens hav been talking to me regarding those matters
but i juz duno how to do it
haha, ivan and i once more talk till 3 am outsd my house juz like the olden days
so much to discuss, so much to say
haha, helping each other to solve problems

Holiday

here goes another end of my semester holidays

days just passes so fast

at a glance only have to get back the study place..

sigh..

certain point, don't feel like going back

but still need continue my studies..

what to do.

just hope i am so drunken and never back to reality

the moment u sober

get past the door

see the world again

see where i stepping on

everything has not change

things still go on routine..

problems are meant for solve and cannot run away from that

what done is done can't get back

mistakes you done

how wrong you are

when u realized how stupid is it

can't save it

Screw Life

Time has come

few more days going back Kampar..

a dead city..

a dead place..

owh man.. hate it when think about it

the journey back from PD keep thinking about it

great things is my hp playing songs "i'm Going Home"

SUckzzz....

now still on my mind..

craps... somebody save me..

dammit..

need to be apart from my loved ones.. and my frens..

Argh... sigh sigh sigh sigh....

stoned... stoned.. stoned..

any song is "if tomorrow never comes"...

wanna listen to it so much

haha

tired when think of that..

2 and half years to go..

ZzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz

so every few months before holidays end i will keep complaining

^^

Last minute

Again A Plan Done in Last MINUTE

the last plan is planning Jiunwen's birthday

Ivan get so fucking stressed about this plan

guess what time we confirm this trip..

God.. is 2 am and next day got to leave at 9am

cool right.. :)

this trip is to Port Dickson

people might think that is a shit place

but i think all of us enjoy it well..

trips do not become wonderful just because of the location

but it is perfect when things happen during the trip is great

most importantly everyone enjoy it

recall back..

haha.. certain points there are so off about the trip..

In Carrefour, Ivan cannot get Barcardi

In PD, cant get a beach view room...

In PD, Ivan saw a Japanese Restaurant, it was so on

ended up the restaurant ain't serving Japanese food that night

3 of us just Speechless ^^

Ivan and I planning to set up fire like what we do 2 years ago,

our VIP(yee chien) sleeping on the couch, too exhausted

the materials are good, woods are in dry mode unlike last time have a wets one

we reach the beach, find a nice location put down the woods

guess what we saw

There are lighting when u look at the sea looks like storm approaching

and next thing we forget get the marshamalo(duno how to spell) down

"Fire is Gone"
"No marshamalo to bbq"

2 idiots just squad there and chill! haha

get back hotel after half an hour...

Fun stuffs which happen are too much ^^

when we back, VIP is awake... WuuuUT.. watching TV cool..

we grab the drinks and start playing cards game..

losers gonna drink..

then the time a CHAMPION occurs

guess who is that

hhaha

*shy*SHY*

Is me..

lol.. dunno is Champion among losers or the real champion

ahah Gods know

-----halftime----

stand at balcony...

i toking shitz to ivan, and yee chien listening like a good listener

then raging wind come.

OMG, i never experienced this strong wind ever in my life.. no jokes.

the trees bending down..

coconut trees and etc

hear the waves sound at the balcony hitting the shore

the best part is every few minutes, the lighting lit up the whole sea

It is awesome

the beauty of nature...

and we decide went down and feel IT..

crazy and fun..

dunno how to describe

but the wind strong enough to stop Ivan from moving forward.. ahaha

i am not bullshitting ^^

The raging wind continue for hours is seriously great..

in city never experienced things like this

don't know when this will happen again..

want to go through it once more...

love it..

thx Dai ga jie, Dai lou and Soo

3 of you make my foundation life unforgettable

you all just like my brothers and sister

this make me realized something

friendship does not depend on how long u know each other

but is all about how much you appreciate it

i am totally speechless about u all when comes to describing

how good are you all..

remind me the day before i left to Kampar after decided to switch courses

one from Sentosa

one from Kepong

another from Sri Kembangan

come to subang just to meet me and have a dinner with me

that time is seriously so touched..

the wishes is great..

THANK YOU

this holidays we have trips to Klang and Genting

haha.. it was nice and intersting

hope in future we have outing every holidays

Friendship Forever

Exam period

after spent 3 years in UTAR

after taking so many papers

now is time for stress again

the red F which appear at my previous 2 results

what about now..

after changed courses. have things turns right?

the whole study week, so many things to memorise

sick of memorizing but what to do.

the phrase i keep telling myself

"This is the last time i'm gonna read it, and get it through"

"no more.. no more..."

this how i motivate myself..

however, kind sick of some papers whereas the scope is too big

cant be narrow now.. that is serious SHIT!!!!!!

most of my revision i teach some of my fren who needed help

i don't wanna say NO no matter what..

because i dont't want things happen to me last time in Setapak happens to them.

Greedy people who don't really sacrifice for other people

don't deserved to be called fren..

sometimes sacrifice make a lost to urself

but think about you could help somebody

Mandarin have a proverbs

"help people could bring happiness to yourself"

Don't know how many people practices it

how truth it is also..

but seriously i don't have enough time to do revision

after teaching them..

get stressed during that period.

In setapak i was so helpless, everyone just care about themselves

ahaha, what to do.. different people have different principle in life.

Now i know these things

so is good to teach them since time are limited cannot consult lecturer in time

during exam period i just hanging over fren house, sleep over there

it is kind of funny..

we are always complaining time isn't enough to study

but there is always enough time to play

one day before exam, i still have time to hook up in CC to play DOTA

Crazy huh.. but in good way is way to relax too..

after the exam.. and after got results.. a fren approach me

and say thank you for helping him in study meanwhile motivate him

he just failed one, but he is happy about that

he say he could failed more without my help

just the thank you make my day perfect and nice

after helping people, most important is they know to appreciate

then you are in cloud 9

but if they don't, you cannot use that as excuse to say NO when helping people

some people just need it so much

so help your frens whenever you can

the day i have the maths paper i get so stressed about it

i had failed in Engineering

the weather looks the same like the previous year i having my Maths in KL

so many shitz running through my brain that time

the F F F F F.. am i that stupid?

after that exam.. i too scared.. can't even have a nice meal.

keep telling myself move forward to next paper.

but it just easier say than done.

psychology.. ahaha

two weeks after exam.. results is out

that time i wif two of my best fren and someone in the heart who accompany me go through this stage

cant't imagine the time.. and my GF check the results for me

there is so many suspends from her

but ended up i have a good results..

certain point i am proud of myself

lucky never failed

else.. will again disappoint my parents

3.4 is good. don't ask for more

2nd semester is coming..

so.. prepare for the nest journey

the road is still long for me..

Been a while..

2 months just passed..

never updates my blog for decades also..

kind dead anyway

missed so many things

Sorry Ivan and Carmen..

got nothing for you to read

starting now will start writing again..

just hoping getting my laptop back asap!

Reflect

recently i met few friends
and surprisingly one of them remind me of something
he just like my mirror in the past
reflect about my behavior in the past
and now i finally know
how hard for my friends to bear with my attitude
sigh.. again thx for frens who could bear wif me
keeping the relationship till now
and sorry for those who i had something with u all
=）
This fren really repeating testing my patience
cannot stand his ways of nt accepting the opinions of others
and so many more
so i now
how annoying are people who always think they are right
how to talk to them anymore...
haha...cant believe it..
lucky now i changed a bit to a better one
but still cant b the perfect sometimes i m still like the past
everything hav to depends on situation and how i dealing wif ut
=)

Ordinary

BROKE

oh my god
i m totally broke
with so many birthday going on
today just celebrate 2 friends birthday
1 day 2 cakes
sweats...
in two months time celebrated 4 times of friends birthday
my wallet do hav holes d
nw the holes even bigger
hahha

DIEDIEDIE
over budget again
SHITZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

MIss it

2 months in Kampar
2 and the half year to go
i already start missing my life in Subang and KL
i miss coaching so much
that is the way left for me to get close to basketball
not to mention about the side income
sigh..
watching players grow
watching them improve
watching badges of players come and go
these things no longer happen in my life
now what happen is just sleep, eat, and study

whenever back subang
can drive around meeting friends
though just two days
but is good enough
weekend always busy with coaching
at night busy yamcha with frens
until have no time left for family
parents dont get to see my face also
hahaha...
here, no matter what u do
once u out from room
u hav to cycle
everything cycle
sometimes just really sick of it
wif the extra hot weather
sigh...
life as a students
and this all hav to blame myself again
for failing my engineering course
wasted 18k for nothing
that why ntg can be complain now
maybe i dont deserved the right to complaine
trying to do well here
lets see the results la

KL housemates
though just living with them one year
the feeling is great
juz like a family with no conflicts and very happening
miss them so so much
no where else can find people like them
caring, lovely and lots more to describe them
hopefully the friendship will last even i left the house d

Girlfriend
so sorry that from each year i moving further away from you
1st year PJ
2nd year KL
nw Kampar
distance really caused us to miss many things
it is hard to maintain
but we still manage to went through it
juz see how the future turns to
we do look like online couple n etc
but facts is we are not
we just dont have the chance
whenever there are chances i try my best to meet with you
bring you around like the past
sorry for unable gving u things like other people do
thx for everyting
accompany me all this while
bear wif my ridiculous attitude
i love you and i miss you

what i hav become?

after tmr presentation i dont think there are any coursework left
just the final is approaching
damn.. need start studying already

recently i dont knw why
juz feel unsatisfactory towards certain people
the ways they behave
the way they talk
the way they do things
the way they treat people
i do know no 1 is perfect
but i cannot bear wif it
if find someone and discuss abt it
people will say i am wrg
if keep insd heart i will feel very uneasy
is that i think too much
or i m the person which hard to get along
I DON'T KNOW

FInal COuntdown

nw d week 10
time passed fast
i d change course for 10 weeks
and final exam is approaching
in another one month
slowly adapting to the life here
so..
how my results going to be..
lets see how things turn out to be like
now..
Am i performing better?
still unknown

bt hopefully i get an answer
An answer to my path
Is this the correct one
Am I on it..
Pursuing what i want

????????????????

One Night

feeling of tonight..
i don't know how to describe
so much troubles and headache went through b4 this happen
countless sms been send around
calls keep spamming
juz to get one thing happen
which is THIS NIGHT
THIS NIGHT specially to celebrate our dear fren Jiun Wen birthday
it was simple and yet memorable
people might wonder how special it can be
but for us
it hidden some meaningful stuffs
seriously have to thank Ivan for His transport and $$
Yee Chien watching movie oso need keep sms
Me ???????????? wat else.. BULLSHIT as usual
this 3 frens are one of those best i had in my high school
leaving me great memories
whenever i m bck to subang
they r people who will hang out wif me
and THIS NIGHT we are again gathered
haha.. it just a short while like 2 to 3 hours
but things really happen throughout this moment
and yeah
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIUN WEN"
after THIS NIGHT
i keep looking back the photos
and start laughing
it just fun when think about it
and it really been a while ever since 4 of us are gathered
for the 2 years we mostly
2 and without 2
3 and without 1
rarely to see 4 together
but THIS NIGHT we manage to make it
after a so called PLANNING which cant even confirm at 11.30pm
now university, we still manage to maintain our friendship
future, hope it will be the same
mayb we r nt the type of close frens sharing every shits wif each other
but as long we hav knw each other well
and when need help juz approach each other
i think is good enough
but if can goes more deep and become buddy
that will be the best
for now just lets see what happen frm now on



CraZY 4




One Down..
Ivan trying revenge
Chien acting GANGSTER..



Look at the Ivan expression
Joyful
Hope some1 can carry me like this
where is Hercules

Lastly, Jw knockout

haha.. gt more pics bt cant share it here..
line slow hard to upload
THIS NIGHT really special
and unforgettable
hope more is coming between us
******WISHES*******
My beloved friends
Take care
Live happily
All the best in life
******CheerS******

HEaVen

after busy for so long

at last manage to have a break

and this break only last for two weeks

two weekends dont hav any mid term to sit

haha

so i bck KL and CLUB

main point actually isnt clubbing

bt is the fun to meet bck my old frens

too bad one of them could nt make it.

haha

tmr and tis sat wil club

i think tis is extreme

bt wat to do

life in kampar

other than bullshit there isnt much

and tis weel expenses will gonna kill me

bus ticket cost me rm 60 d 4 trips

and nw hp line even barred

sigh

haha

totaaly broke

hope could find $$ to afford thursday n sat night ^^

Fuck off

The twins

Sweet

sleeping soundly

-The End-

After 2 years and 5 months
things had ended just at a blink of eyes
can't reach to an agreement
different view
and etc
though all these while trying to be compromise
however, life goes on
so all the best in your life
somehow you deserved someone who are better than me
so the memories will always live
just that in the present is not exists anymore
sorry hurting you
and thousands apologizes
appreciate the time we had in past

A boy

when this boy is 18 and taking pic he will pose like this

when he is 20 he still pose like this
see his style
i just realized when i look back the old album
and i proudly INTRODUCE you this boy IVAN
hopefully after this post he will change his style
haha, nw his heart is Fucking me upside down d
can feel it
haha

Finally

At last, my house get to online already
after suffering a months without it
life without internet
barely could describe by words
just can tell you is totally suck
haha
erm, friends here are awesome
but there are still some are #####
no comment
kind of tired due to daily cycling to campus
actually cycling this ways does not help me loose weights
in fact i m gaining.. haha, because when u cycle
u waste lots energy
and due to FAT body, need consume more foods
so 2 set of meals for lunch and dinner
yeah, pocket will be very pain
need financial planning ^^
there are actually few things making me worried
because every classes there are students who repeat the subjects
mean the percentage of failing is relatively high
fuck man, kind afraid... will i be the one again..
this question always occur in my brain
hope i can pass or even get a better grade here
sigh, transformer 2 out for weeks, and i do not get the chance to watch it
damn sad lor.. there no cinema in Kampar
and the best things is SUNDAY i will have my midterm test
and test on sunday will last for 1 month
Oh MY GOD... monday to saturday gt class then sunday gt exam
TOTALLY SUCK
cant even breathe
assignment are stacking
wonderful group members arent working nor communicate
GREAT man..
haha
however, trying to make it done because there is going to be 3 midterm in 1 week..
haha
by that time may i RIP

New Life

At last my course transer had approve by the very "efficiency management "of UTAR
Kampar.. other than cyber cafe i dont know where is other entertainment
so just stuck in the room doing nothing and sleeping again be my favourite past times.
here, bicycle is the main transport for students
thousands bicycles you can see in the campus
the distance to campus quite far
once you reach the campus
sweat like a cow
worst for fat people like me
haha
good exercise though
going to meet new friends and new environment
expecting something really good and nice things happen here
now just having trouble whereas
don't have assignment groups since i just transferred to new class
hope everything will be done soon
new housemates isn't that friendly
and i do love my X housemates from KL
things really get happening and fun there

study..
hopefully i can be better here
the FAILED words hopefully don't exists in my results anymore
kind of afraid of it already

Strange

tomorrow my course mates going start year 2 semester 1
but i will be going sitting at home
hahaha
waiting news from kampar
don't know why they are not efficient
took so long to approve
sigh..
wait and wait..
just like a ship in the sea
with no direction and without light tower
just follow the waves and wind

Quit..

UTAR SETAPAK
-THE END-
i gave up in engineering course already
there are so many doubt and uncertainty
but need a solution for it
so i choose QUIT.
tired of life studying that course
this is the mistakes of my life
i am not really sure what i going to do next
but please hope YOU give me strength to move on
and start achieving things that i never achieved
will power and determination
i am looking for you
I am sure lots people will look down at me
especially customer in my dad's shop
and other friends even relatives
yes, maybe i isn't work hard enough
maybe i took a easier path which is quit
but just go ahead with your thought
i am always being look down by you all
since i was a child
i bear with the annoying customer
which always thought their children will be better
but i am living with my own life
now i just want to have something
a qualification
a certificate
so i move to other course which is marketing
hopefully they accept my application

KAMPAR,UTAR
-A NEW LIFE-
looking forward for it
will it bring a dramatically changes in my life
if i manage to study there
lots things need to be forgone
my interest as a coach as part-time and my players
sigh.. kind hard survive without extra income
meeting new friends, hopefully not the typical Chinese
found it a lot in Setapak which make me not close with them
going to miss my house mates which bring me joy whereas never get in university
if i FAILED here, i think i STOP here
so this really determine my future
can't afford to make another mistakes
miss the engineering course but too bad i can't coupe with it
only despair
so marketing, always have interest there
just need figure what am i going to study
brain brain please assist me this time
i need you for 3 years

Anyways
YOU are my inspiration
YOU giving me strength
YOU giving what i needs
so thank you.

Sorry to my dad, and mom
i disappointing you all as usual
being the most worried son
wasting 15k for a mistakes
hoping one day can make u proud like how my sisters and brother make you
but too bad i am always the failure
habit of study not in me
but trust me
i will once again try have the habit
it takes times

-Wish me luck-
-Guide me success-
-Give me strength-

One more hell to go, Three weeks of heaven awaits me

Monday is my last paper
but don't know why can't really focus
sigh...
this will be a hard paper as well.
just don't understand through reading take me hours to understand
guess what you cant get tutorial answer from notes
stupid notes lecturer give.
sigh.
digital digital..
somebody save me..

3 weeks of holidays
how to spent without $$
haihz..
unique University
break when none of others break
having break alone
fcuk man

Day before 3rd paper

spending whole day studying without knowing anything
really dunno how to take the paper tomorrow
is this THE END
i am still wondering

2nd paper

today paper
what can i conclude?
yesterday aim 25% forgone
75% do
50% aim
today 54% dunno
46% know
score how many out of 46%
unknown
screw everything
things i purposely miss come out
things i focus and do all hiding
done tutorial 134
out 2 and 5

just sick and tired
two more days another day headache math II for engineering
just DIE once and for all

Labor Day

everyone having off today
but for Utar's students there is no off day
everyone doing revision for the next day paper
sigh, having 3 more papers left mean there is 3 more weeks
dynamics, math for engineering II, and digital electronic
tomorrow having dynamic exam
brain kind empty
it is not pure reading, it need analyst the questions
12 chapters; give up 3 chapters
25% of final forgone
75% left
50% aim
so, am i capable of taking the 50%
hopefully yes
now going sleep
wake up at midnight later
continue the process of jamming stuffs into the brain
BRAIN BRAIN...
PLEASE INCREASE YOUR CAPACITY
LET ME BE SMART FOR THE SECOND DAY
haha

Memories

this is the second present i received in my life
haha, damn sad right whole life receive few presents only
this toy already 2 year old, from karmen and yee chien.
this things using solar power to move his head..
nod..nod...nod..
2007, i having SPM
so ivan and i happen to be studying together
this thing will be at the middle of our table
when both of us bored
we stare at it..
and laugh..
we just ask some stupid question..
"ivan is stupid"it nod
"kit yuan sohai" it nod
etc....
haha.. both of us are so lame
however, it also can motivate you..
like..
"Am i the smartest"
"Can i do it"
lol.. just depends what type of question you are asking :)
till today, whenever i study at home, this tiny things will be on my table
whenever i stuck i will have a look at it
^^
refresh the mind by thinking back the past
and too bad.. just a while
need back to studies after that

really thankful
to these friends who bought this present for me
and celebrate my birthday with me
that was the 1st and last till today
appreciate it
:)
thank you

A HARD Moment

another day just passed,
guess what..
my brain still empty
two days trying studying dynamics
ended with blur and even more question mark occur in brain
really makes me give up and tired. sitting 3 hours ended with nothing

just now went canteen in UTAR to do revision straight after dinner around 8
settled down and started to read DYNAMIC
getting stress and depress from time to time
and suddenly.. PARENTS call
dad start the conversation first then mom
dad asking about my condition thought i having paper today
mom concern about my cloths enough or not, asked me wash cloths and etc
and..
"are you studying"
"progress fine ma"
"better don't like last semester"
"empty paper and get few grade "F"
dunno why, at this Moment..
why this Moment
when i getting frustrated of studying
they called..
body just numb and can just listen to my heartbeat
feelings of scared
i feel sorry for them for not making them proud
working days and night at shop for their children
and what on earth i am doing
being a student who cannot even passed exam
being a son who does not work hard enough
being a rubbish and wasting tine
i am so useless until don't understand the syllabus
the Moment i giving up but i thinking of YOU
i will, no i must try my best
having few days left
still can make the difference

******FINAL******

at last..
the day has come..
my final exam
it really will be a very very long month for me
nothing can be done now
just hoping everything will be fine
no failed papers again
already SCARED...
wish me ALL THE BEST
=D haha

give me the strength
give me the sign of hope
let the light shine along my path
bless me with wisdom and knowledge
get over this final

Melaka

my best friend had been study in melaka for 2 years
and i had been saying wanted to find him for 2 years but ended up not even been there once
so i decided to find him during my study week.
it is a costly trip however the fun we have is really unforgettable.
there is something i wanna say after that trip
" IVAN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A BEST WEEKEND"
it just a two day one night trip but actually we stay at melaka just for 23 hours and 30 minutes.
this really a compact trip with so many things stack together.
1)tour in mmu
2)ivan's X house and current
3) his friend's MArtin house
4)collect liquor from someone house
5) find a place to stay
6)best cendol and ordinary asam laksa at jonker streets
7)ringo(pub or bar)
8)pure
9)arena
10)jetty
11)hotel
12)jonker street chicken rice ball n lo han guo)
12)melaka sentral
13)KL
Best places among all--->RINGO and JETTY
there something funny about me and ivan
last movies we watch togther for last year is NEXT(nicholas cage)
Current movies is KNOWING(nicholas cage)
2 years ago at beach in PD
2 years later beach in melaka
haha..
Ringo and jetty really a chil out place
places where you really can relax
i in love with it.
RINGO live music, classic music, old song
JETTY Star, Waves, Wind

Untitled

Recently, i having revision in sunway library. So, i hanging out with sam and his gang since he is fetching me go n back from sunway. I,found out their life really fun. On the road while going to college can meet friends because stuck together in jam, then before every first class of the day, they will gathered and have some fun conversation in foyer then goes a day. It just a life that students have. Then, something cross my mind, where are my friends, friends i used to hang out during high school. ALL gone, I am all alone. Izit because i studying in UTAR that why there is a gap or because i am too annoying.... Answer to this only GOD knows. SIGH..
If my parents have $ for me to study in sunway or any other college in Subang, i wonder how my life turns.
utar--> friend = no friend
everyone seem so busy with study, maybe my badge of students just know study
seldom hangout
not even close
fuck up life man..
facing people who just know about academic
not even bother about the existence of others
everytime i look at myself
i dont know what i become
am i useful or useless
am i smart or stupid
everything i do seem to be failed
let people looking down at you
all your friends forget who you are
U R NOBODY

anyway, KIT YUAN u have to wake up.. Deal with it..
now, back to a boring life...
final exam just around the corner, and that just the begin of another nightmare
A terrify moment in my life..
am i going to pass or am i going to failed
it just four papers
if i messed it up
where the hell i ended up at
i still wonder
should i continue or quit
seriously.. i just a useless guy who keep wasting parents money
2 k for the paper i failed last semester
fuck man..

烦恼

你又不是不知道我的成就是如何
我告诉你我会尽我所能了但为何
你不信任我呢？
我知道你也忙和因我而烦我也不想的
抱歉
我只希望你像以前在我背后默默支持
我就心满意足了

懒散

今天的小考
肯定完蛋了
怪就怪自己
懒惰
唉！
吉涌啊！
何时才会醒觉
大考努力啦
人人看你都厌了
不求上进的废物

内疚

我好悲伤
我好内疚
无法抗拒这感觉
每个周末
当我回来
你们脸上的微笑
你们所形容不出的开心
令我内疚
我无法让你们自豪
我是家中最没用的
我的成绩一落千丈
我回来让你们开心
但我的成就却让你们失望
对不起
我没用
真希望在将来的考试
能带给你们快乐安心
如果我办不到
愿你们能饶了我
我知错了

希望

好感激你
想谢谢你
你的劝告
让我走出第一步
我再次在此看到
接着走这路的心
不再埋怨
希望
离我近了
三个星期时间
我拼了
努力

害怕

星期三就是我这学期最重要的日子
在大考占有三十八仙的数学小考
妈的
为何我头脑简单
应付不到这科呢
现在坐立都不安
神啊！救救我！
唉！
埋头苦干地做练习
希望有过一半吧

感叹

真不明白
为何人要如此自私呢
自私能带给你什么呢
何不慷慨点让他人快乐
自己也从中获取开心呢
唉！真是的！

为何人现在不再
懂得珍惜
懂得感恩
懂得感激
懂得报恩
基本的人生道理有那么难吗？
唉！失望！

一分耕耘，一分收获
在现实生活里是不成的
再多的耕耘未必有理想的收获
曾经我已经历过也曾被老师指点了
但现在又再次经历了
好无奈

病魔

无话可说了
此刻只想骂粗话
唉，病了整个月了
咳嗽，咳到肺多要飞了
鼻涕，流到比黄河还长
鼻血，优如红包般鲜红
发烧，烧到鸡蛋都会熟
四喜临门
死期就到
哈哈
完蛋了，大考也将至
脑袋空空
病魔与我同伴
看来红字离我不远了
天使在哪？
快帮我干掉那王八病魔
顶它的肺

放下

今天国中老师与我通电话
问我境况如何，我们也谈了许多话题
从中，她叫我开心点，领悟放下的道理
让自己开心，过的充实点，别再想过去
看来她也了解我这没变的缺点
常记着过去的不开心
何不回想过去的开心
原来我思想也不成熟
已两年了，老师还觉得我还是老样子
埋怨；情绪化；悲观；没自信
怎么能给女朋友安全感呢？
或许曾经的阴影给我的回忆太深了
放下的技巧还是未领悟
对不起让她失望了
她再三吩咐晚上想想她的话

好了，想了
学习放下，做个内与外都开心的家伙
希望能唤醒已沉睡的
自信
快乐
理智
稳重
让看不起我的人改观
爱说我不能，我就尽我所能证明你错了
希望我得到我曾得罪的朋友的宽恕
放下不值的包袱
成为一个如老师说的顶天立地的男子汉
忘掉过去
我的承诺
愿我成功

stressFUL

haihz.
so fast already week 7 for my SEMESTER 2
mid term test soon will be started.
stress man.. so worry
another 7 weeks then my final.
omg..
nw BRAIN still blank..
nightmare from FAiling two subjects last semester still floating in my brain
haha..
fail again mean BYEBYE d.
dun wan stdy this course liao.
too stpd ^^

Sick

Omg..
having fever for 2 days d..
suffering...
coughing oso get worst.. is like every min cough.. cough until stomach oso gonna burst..
sleepless night..
pray hard not dengue la..
fucking scare...
blood test n etc.. zz... injection FCUK

Another story frm my foundation

previously i talked about my Indian fren but most of them are from TD 11.
so nw i talk abt BUDDY frm my TD 12.hahafrom left: Dai lou(Kok Thong), Kit Yuan, Ah Soo(Meng Keat),Dai ga jie(Yit Zhen)
During foundation, lecturer do mention, those after form 6 who joined foundation wont be close with those after form 5. Once again, we prove lecturer are wrong. haha.. our group,dai lou n dai ga jie are after form 6, so they are elder than ah soo n me 2 years. Why i say once again lecturer are wrong, because in utar only two race dominate whereas are indian n chinese. In lecture hall, ,the lecturer comment that chinese will always sit wif chinese and indian sit wif indian. So the seperation by groups kind of obvious, that time i dare nt voice out because our indian fren repeating some subject at foundation. Today, 2009, my indian fren all come for degree already, so nw we still the group mixture of 4 indian n 2 chinese. haha.

back to my TD12, each of us have own speciality gua..
dai lou gud in PHYSICS
dai ga jie good in COMP
ah soo good in GRAPH
me .. haha.. gud in scolding n comment
so, i can say the most useless person.. maybe i m useful when come to bullshit
year of foundation, we always sty as group to do assignment. cover each other ass.
we 4 always like seperate wif other classmates.. duno why.. haha
mayb tat the reasons we until today still click together.
remember there is once when we doing 3rd semester of study, i dont have coaching section during weekdays due to palyers's high school exam.
so there is a stpd trip.
monday- we went KAJANG to eat kajang satay after class at 3pm
tuesday- class ended at 12noon, imagine where we go? we went to GENTING, sit at the starbucks and do our webpage design assignment
wednesday- movie and paly pool in MD VALLEY
thursday- we went kepong to AH soo dad shop eat bak kut teh as breakfast
friday- bck home afetr class
tis is the best week of stdy ever in foundation..
everyday full of activities and excitment.
after foundation, dai ga jie plan a trip.. 3 days 2 night to penang
though the expenses can say very HIGH reaching 700 however we enjoyed very much.
our station-->Ipoh(lunch)-->Penang(batu ferringhi)--->Ipoh jusco(buy bbq stuffs)--
>cameron highland--->home
we rent a car frm company near klia which is mitsubishi lancer 1.6
then drove to ipoh find coursemate, hav a nice lunch in ipoh then straight to our destination PENANG.. hotel we stying is BAYVIEW hotel. what caught my attention frm the hotel is middle of the swimming pool there is a bar.. haha vry unique
having few water activity like banana boat. and my dai lou do some shape at the beach to his beloved gf.

dai lou poser

toys museum

toilet for guys

the last day, we plan something extra ordinary, go cameron highland to bbq.. that why we went ipoh jusco to buy 5 stick of bbq stick, arang, planta, honey n etc... at 10pm, dai ga jie drove up to cameron highland. OMG.. it was freezing. we went to tea farm n above tea farm there is camp sites for traveler, bt i prefer go higher so we went all up to the top.. the 1st feeling come to me is very scary... bec nearly 12 am d... no one around there except us...
ahaha.. we faster unpack those foods and start fire to bbq.
at there talk oso gt smoke come out frm ur mouth. so u can imagine the COLDNESS. lol... that time i wanna pee but very scary.. u knwla... mountain gt lots tales.. so i catch ah soo n kok thong pee with me XD kind of smart move... around 3 am.. we bck to kl.

1st trip during degree 1st semester break.. a call frm dai ga jie... lunch in KUALA SELANGOR..
omg... haha.. KUALA SELANGOR IS CONSIDER FAR from my place...
bt since gt people suggest then 4 of us go again...
actually we still gt visit some place there bt i duno wat tat place call. gt BLACK MONKEYS n LIGHT tower. then have coconuts then only go to the chinse village and eat seafood.

dunohow explaine the babe is brown

2nd trip during the semester break.. we went to BUKIT TINGGI.. tat tim juz hav landslide in duno wat bukit antrabangsa at ampang.. whole days juz raining.. tat time we dun concern abt tat case... haha.. juz thinking of enjoy.. u can say us crazy or stupid
ahha
actually, nw i d 20 years old, that day is the 1st time i go bukit tinggi and 1st time go places people call SMALL genting whereas can c the whole kl city gua..
tat particular day, places we went all mountain.. haha nt cold oso become cold due to the rain...
bukit tinggi have 2 village french n japan.. really relaxing n chilling ..

french village


ferari... ^^
Bridge to HEAVEN

JAPANESE vil

last destination SMALL GENTING
lol.. the pics nt clear bec ... using dabian phone paiseh haha
the night scenery very nice, especially when going up the hill.. omg.. haha lots people stop the and watch wif their loves one.. hhaha n do $%^&*()*&^%$ there.. so.. nt advised b there. i took the pics when i eating at a restaurant

My 1st casual shoe

haha..
since high school..
after i have playing basketball as my interest..
all shoes i bought is just basketball shoes.
and the basketball shoes is only shoe i have.
-jungle tracking
-running
-shopping
is like all in one.. one shoe for any events
some people even laugh at me.. wear basketball shoes out
so.. recently i bought a casual shoes..
the price is cheap ^^ and my fren and i bought the same pairs at same time XD
so we have an agreement
before we out make sure dun wear the same shoe
haha